8 types of difficult clients and how to act

Satisfying a difficult client isn’t easy, sometimes even impossible. Analysing why your customer is difficult is key to avoid a potential disaster.

1)     They are incompetent. We have all been confronted with client-side project managers who had never managed a project in their life or, worse, had consistently mangled their previous projects. If they don’t have the skills to be an effective bridge between your project and their company, you are in trouble. In this case, I can only advise to go directly to the main project sponsor, the CEO if needed, and tell them exactly what is wrong and why they should replace this person asap if they want the project to be successful. In some cases, providing external help can be sufficient. But if you get a negative reaction on any proposed change, stop the project immediately and walk away. You may have lost some time and money, but this will be the lesser evil compared with what you could lose if you continue.

2)     They don’t know what they want. This is the kind of customer who is able to tell you superficially what they want, but is not able to give you important details. “You should fill in the details because you are the expert…” In this case, slow down, take a step back and help your customer define what they want. Fill in the details together! If you can’t get additional funding for it, it will cost you a little at first, but if you do this well, you will build a very good connection with the customer which will allow you to compensate your initial loss during the rest of the project and you will end-up with a very satisfied customer.

3)     They are not aligned internally. Doing projects for big customers is always difficult, since there are many stakeholders who are never fully aligned. Everyone have their own ideas and priorities and it is difficult to manage. Admittedly, it should not be your job to manage this kind of problem, but I am afraid you don’t have much choice. Make sure you know exactly the priorities of all the stakeholders, then try to reach out to them, be creative and find solutions to bridge as many gaps as possible. If necessary, slow down until everyone is more or less aligned. There will however always be residual gaps in stakeholder’s priorities but hopefully, with your intervention, these gaps will be minimal. The best course of action then is to determine who are the primary decision makers on these remaining gaps, to bridge them on their terms and to warn everyone else that this is the decision that has been made.

4)     They have hidden agendas. Some changes might be on their way but nobody will or can tell you, some budget constraints will impact your project, a key resource will be promoted out of your project, there’s a new boss coming up, a new company vision, etc. I have seen it several times and there are most of the time warning signs. When you feel that important things are shifting with your customer, react immediately. Ask about it, don’t assume. Take your time, empathize, show them you want to help and create a safe space for them to open. They don’t need to feel embarrassed and they can trust you. In the best case, you will be able to help them in their new priorities and they will become your best ambassador to sell other projects within the organisation.

5)     They are overstressed, easily irritated. This is the customer that freaks out when you tell them about problems, issues, delays etc. They spread all bad news and unsettle the management. They only create more problems. Try to know why they are so stressed. Maybe they have personal issues, or just too much on their plate, or maybe they’re just “like that”. Be open and transparent with them, empathize and figure out how you can help to relief them from some stress. In any case, find ways to be among those who are reducing that person’s stress and not on the side of those who are adding to it.

6)     They don’t treat you as an equal. This is the kind of person who will give you the feeling that they could do anything better themselves, but that they have no other choice than to work with you. Whatever you do, they will continuously look for details to prove you are not doing a good job. Don’t rely on establishing a strong emotional connection because these people are generally emotionally unstable and try to compensate with a dominant or manipulative behaviour. The best course of action is to show them the utmost respect but to demonstrate in parallel that you also deserve their full respect by your integrity, your professional ethics, the value you add in your contributions. Even the most narcissistic people need to be surrounded by some people of valour to enhance their image – they might even thank you for it.

7)     They inherently distrust you without reason. This is for example a customer who is managing a project with an external party for the first time and are uncomfortable with  contractual management. It might also be a client who’s had a bad experience with a previous vendor and does not want to re-live the ordeal. They are out of their comfort zone and they can therefore turn into control freaks. Try to be even more transparent than usual, be pro-active and genuine to build trust and help them feel more comfortable.

8)     They have unrealistic expectations. Managing the expectations of the customer is already difficult, but when your customer has unrealistic expectations (they want things that have never been discussed), life becomes very difficult. The only thing you can do is stay calm and ask questions to analyse thoroughly where their expectations are coming form. Either you can adapt or you have to neutralize. But you have to act as soon as you can. And always be as specific as possible in the description of the services or products they get.

Most of us have the reflex to go directly into “defence mode” as a response to the such situations. Unfortunately, this is not going to help. Adopting a “collaboration mode”, regardless of the intensity of the situation is way better to overcome it. Whatever happens, keep your integrity, be helpful, transparent and very clear in your communications and you might stand a good chance to end your project successfully.

One last thing: Once in a while, some of us encounter clients who are dishonest, even sometimes outright criminals or people displaying pathological behaviours. My only advice is to walk away professionally as soon as possible. And then follow your conscience – and the law – on how best to protect the public from these individuals.